The Worms
Why the transgender agenda should be kept far far away from kids
Disney wants to get on board with the Biden Administration's plan to push the transgender agenda to children of all ages across America. Instead of featuring princesses, princes, Lions, and lionesses in their films, get ready for "gender-nonconforming characters," "canonical trans characters," and "canonical bisexual characters." I am not sure what any of those characters will look like, but their message to kids will be clear: Gender isn't a given, but it is a choice. It is OK not to be OK with your privates.
Understandably, a lot of parents are against the government and private corporations meddling with their kids’ gender identities. They argue that such serious, life-altering issues should be dealt with by the child and his/her parents. Period. Florida Governor, Ron Desantis, agreed with parents and signed a bill that keeps gender identity issues out of the classroom, at least until grade 4 (age 9).
Personally, I don't think Governor Desantis went far enough. Although kids and young adults who have real questions about their gender identities should get all the support and help they need to make the right decisions (as well as the right changes), the vast majority of kids should be kept far away from anything having to do with the transgender agenda.
Why?
Well, because of the worms.
If you haven't heard of the worms, the following dialogue (in 3 Acts) will give you some insight.
ACT I
If you didn't know, Bubble tea is the new treat of choice among teens. Bubble tea comes in a great variety of flavors, textures, and colors, and it comes in a no-spill, dribble-free cup. So after a long (1/5 mile) walk around the park with an incredibly short, fat dog, I asked my 15-year-old daughter, Sophie, if she wanted to get bubble tea.
"Yes!" She cheered from the back seat of my car.
As we pulled into the bubble tea parking lot, I caught a glimpse of Sophie in the rearview mirror. She was staring out at the bubble tea place with great seriousness.
"Uh…." she grunted.
I immediately knew what that grunt meant. And sure enough…
Right before I pulled into a parking stall, Sophie said, "Nevermind. I don't want any."
"What?" I said.
"I don't want any," she said.
I pulled over and asked her if she was absolutely sure she did not want bubble tea.
"I don't want any," she said.
So we pulled out of the parking area and headed home with no bubble tea.
Approximately ten minutes into a fifteen-minute drive, Sophie said, "Can we get bubble tea?"
"What?" I said.
“We can go to the other place,” she said.
“WHAT other place?” I said.
I knew exactly what place she was talking about, but I wanted to hear her say it, hoping it would come with an explanation as to why the bubble tea flip-flopping. But all she said was:
"The place at the bottom of University."
"I thought you said you didn't like that place as much," I said.
"I do like it," she said. "It's just that it doesn't last as long in the refrigerator as the other place."
"Oh." I said.
What I WANTED to say was, “Why didn't you get bubble tea at the other place if it lasts longer in the refrigerator? WE WERE RIGHT THERE. Then if you changed your mind and didn’t want it, you could just throw it in the 'fridge until you did want it, right?"
But I decided not to say anything because I was afraid the answer might cause my head to explode.
We pulled into the parking lot at "the other bubble tea place."
Just before we got out of the car, Sophie said, "Wait, can I just get Starbucks instead?"
ACT II
Two days later, I picked Sophie up from school. We had an hour and a half to kill before her doctor's appointment, so I asked her if she wanted to go to the mall or to Savers, a thrift store that can be fun if you are looking for cool old stuff or just old stuff.
"Savers," she said.
I drove to Savers, and we tooled around for thirty minutes. That's when I noticed Sophie wasn't looking very interested in any of it.
"Maybe we should have gone to the mall," she said, slightly glum.
"Huh," I grunted. "Do you need something at the mall?" I asked.
"Maybe…" she said.
We left Savers and drove fifteen minutes to the mall.
"We have about thirty minutes before we leave for the doctor," I said. "What store do you need to go to?"
I followed her to a clothes store and watched as she walked through it, barely pausing to consider anything on the hangers or on the shelves.
"Don't you want to try anything on?" I asked.
"Not really," she said.
"I thought you were looking for something in particular," I said.
"Nah. I don't need anything," she said.
"OK," I said, as my brain cried out in despair: Why on earth did we speed all the way over to the mall if you aren't going to even look at anything or try anything on? Are you insane? Or are you just trying to make me insane?
As we left the store, Sophie asked, "Can we get bubble tea later?"
ACT III
After the appointment with the doctor, we headed home. Sophie was in the backseat of the car, staring at her phone.
"What do you want for dinner?" I asked.
"Ummmm….I don't know," she replied.
"Salmon?" I said.
"Nya…." (that is a cross between a "no" and a "yeah")
"Noodles?" I asked.
"Nyaa…"
"Maybe, chicken?"
"Nyaa…." she said. "I don't know. Anything is OK."
"Then I'll make salmon," I said.
"Wait, can I have ramen instead?" She asked.
"Sure," I said.
"But…I just had ramen yesterday," she muttered.
"OK….how about spaghetti then?" I said.
"Nyaa…."
“Pizza?”
“Nyaa…”
"Can you at least narrow it down to a country?" I said. "Mexico? Italy? Japan?"
"Mexican food sounds good," she said.
Whew. I exhaled.
"OK. What kind of Mexican food?" I asked. "Burritos? Enchiladas? Quesadillas?"
"Actually, I'll just have miso soup because my stomach feels a little weird," she said.
"Yep," I said.
THE END.
Now that you have read the dialogue in 3 Acts, I will tell you about the worms.
The Worms
A few years ago, scientists discovered that adolescent roundworms are indecisive. While the adults sit around and decisively munch on popcorn, the young worms aren't sure whether they want to do "this" or "that" or "the other thing," which is why they end up wiggling around, wasting time. Does that sound familiar? Because according to researchers, teenagers do the same thing (except teenagers are a LOT more annoying because they can talk).
But here's the good news: scientists also found that the adolescent worm's indecisiveness isn't a sign of dementia, idiocy, or sociopathy, but it is actually a valuable stage of brain development. And the same is true of the teenager. That's right: the constant, annoying, mind-boggling, wishy-washy, back and forth indecisiveness (that apparently nurtures brain neurons) will pass!
But until it does pass, I don’t think it is wise to speak about one’s gender like something you ordered on Amazon: “If you don’t like your privates, you can always exchange it for something else…”
I mean, really? Can you imagine the daily horror?
"Yes," to bubble tea.
"No," to a penis.
"How about a vagina?"
"Nyaa…I actually don't want bubble tea, but maybe I'll try the penis if my friends don't call me back about going to the mall…"
BUT…
If politicians, educators and executives really feel the need to teach kids that gender is a choice, that it is perfectly OK to choose between a vagina and penis, well, then I have one request: before millions and billions are spent on transgender education and movie making, I say all efforts go into building one of those Sneetch machines. This amazing contraption should not only be able to remove and tack on stars, but also remove and tack on vaginas and penises. Then once it is set up, plugged in and ready to go, hoards of indecisive teens and young adults can change their minds about vaginas and penises and penises and vaginas as much as they want, whenever they want! Well, as long as they don’t run out of birthday and Christmas cash.